I find I dwelt on 2008 so long i never thought about anything afterwords. At least not specifically anyway. I thought about my future career and family etc. but it was never specific. I thought about 2008 and graduating high school and so on. If I was told what my life was going to do back in 6th grade I would've never believed it. I left school after 10th grade, to go to Austria and work at a bible school, there I worked 6 days a week doing difficult labor, but never did well enough, made a friend in a girl some 8 years older than I was, developed a gigantic and unhealthy crush on her, spiraled deep into a depression which was riddled with panic attacks and manic episodes. Came home in 07, got my sanity back. then in the fall I was the best man at my other best friends wedding. i then started a part time internship at the church and graduated high school. Then a few days before the year a friendship bloomed into a relationship. This time last year I was with her and my best friend and my best friend's girl. A few months later my best friend proposed to his girl which caused a rift in our friendship that won't heal for a long time. A few months after that I broke it off with my girlfriend. That summer, My best friend who got married almost a year prior had a son. I'm so excited to watch him grow and see my friend become a father. The next day I went to Germany for two weeks, and I found the Shawn to my Corey (side note, yes that is a Boy meets world reference) and a plan for my life, I was to go to Germany to pursue my dream of being a youth pastor. after that, I went on tour for a total of about 3 months as a roadie, I was stretched and grown in so many ways, and I love those guys dearly. I can't to get on the road myself, shitty promoters, useless booking agents, poor merch sales and all. I discovered that there is never an innappropriate time for prayer, and that it really is all about Jesus. This year I have no resolutions, I have no starry eyed romantic outlook on it, I dont feel any different. I just want to go where Jesus wants to take me. I really do love all of you.
So heres to you 2009 I never thought about you before, lets make it a good one. I hope.
2 comments:
I'm at a point (emotionally, spiritually, you name it) where 2009 *has* to be better than 2008. For me, 2008 was an emotional roller-coaster that I do not ever, EVER want to repeat, and for that, I agree with you.
Some of my more recent posts (specifically on Through The Looking Glass) just show me how much grief I have from 2008; how much I lost, and also, how much more I gained. I spoke with my aunt and uncle around Christmas, and they both hope that this year will be better.
With so much grief and so much pain, and so little happiness (the wedding being the only bright spot of 2008 at all), 2009 has to be better. It just has to be.
Sorry for hijacking your post with a huge comment. I guess what I mean is that I understand and sympathize.
I feel ya, man.
And now I'm realizing where your head is at... not so much a thinker as a feeler... you wear your life like a garment... like a shawl... it hovers around you and you walk in it... as if swimming. I get that, now.
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