Sunday, August 31, 2008
RE:RE:lationships
I watched Jay Bakker in his six part miniseries today. I identified heavily, and also felt for him as He dealt with his Mother's impending death at the hands of that devilishly designed cancer that eats people from the inside out. I saw ow supportive his wife was. I want a girl who is on my level, that meets me perfectly where I am. That doesn't care about trivial school/teenage politics bullshit. One of my ex-girlfriends went from a girl whose faith I admired to somone who abnded G-d for a self serving lifstyle. The crushing sense that I had somehow failed her as she explained where she was to me was so heavy I could hardly breath. My other ex-girlfriend started dating someone else bairly 3 weeks after we broke up. I still have no real closure over the situation. I don't know the guy she's dating, but I hope he loves G-d and is trying to follow Jesus. If that's not the case, she's not headed anywhere good. A man is supposed to be the head of the relationship, the leader, he has to be going towards G-d, because G-d, our father, tells us, warns us, pleads with us, not to be unequally yoked. He knows where it goes, It just leads to pain. He knows whats best, and the pain he feels when people choose to go away from what he knows is best would crush a mortal. He's giving some of it to me now, and want to cry, so badly. It's like an anchor in my chest, a weight, a hurt that wont go away. My question to any girl out there that might be reading this, Are true Biblical man and wife relationships something that girls want to pursue also? (not asking for a date, I just want to know if we're both on the same page in general)
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2 comments:
First off, don't ever feel like you let her down, nor let yourself down. Relationships end, people go their separate ways (if you want a more detailed example, I have at least two, possibly more). Most people I know end up coming back to faith eventually. Sometimes they just want to see the other side. This might not seem the best choice, but I draw your attention to the Prodigal Son parable; the person will leave the safety of faith to go out in the world and experience it. They eventually realize that it does no good to live that way, and come back. I've seen it happen a few times. Unfortunately not enough, but there are a few times.
Just keep the faith, pray for them (not in a negative tone either, that never helps, nor with judgment while praying either.) and at least be a friend to that person, even if you disagree with their lifestyle choices.
In regards to faith-based relationships:
I want to have a life with my husband that is focused and centered on God and faith, which is why we've chosen Matthew 7 vs 24-29 as our scriptural reading in our wedding. We have and are building our marriage house on God and our faith. It is the one thing that, while sometimes is questioning, or struggling, we can always fall back on. We have been building our lives around our unwavering faith (especially in the last few years we have been together). Tim brought that passage to me and I thought about it, and realized it fit our view of how we wanted to live perfectly.
While it is important to have a God-filled and centered relationship, I wouldn't say that Tim will be the end all be all of leading the household. We plan on leading our household together, as equals and partners. That is not to say that Tim will not have the end say in things, because he will, but we've decided that my ideas and thoughts will be taken into account. Though he gets the end decision, it will be based on both his and my thoughts.
I think instead of just the man looking to follow God, any relationship looking to follow God should be a joint venture. Tim and I try to equally encourage each other's faith and spiritual growth, because we are based firmly in our Faith. We work every day to be equally yoked but every once in a while, one of us needs to lean on the other and so we both need to be able to take the reins and lead if the need arises.
You have the right idea and you're on the right track, but you seem to be really focused on relationships, and that concerns me just a little bit. You need to give yourself some time to heal, and a little "singleness" time. I did that after I broke up with CJ, because I wasn't ready to move to another relationship (my semi-status quo in Highschool, because I wasn't confident enough alone). I took a few months off from dating and worked on my confidence, my self-esteem, my faith. I reorganized my priorities and did a total revision of my expectations and what it was I really wanted in a relationship. The list was very long, and horrendously thorough.
So going back to my original point, Biblical relationships are good and wonderful things, but need to be slightly modified for today's culture (sometimes the woman is the head of a relationship, and thus needs to change accordingly. Also, personality needs to be taken into account. I am a fairly submissive person in general, whereas some of my girl-friends are not).
Keep going and doing what you are doing. Take some time to heal and gain closure (even if it doesn't seem like what Closure should feel like). You'll be fine. Just don't get too hung up on relationships, because they are not the most important thing, after all. If you want to talk further, please feel free to email me.
God bless,
christine renee
Aw, Chuck.
Heck yes. Any woman you want to be with will be one who wants to be led. We want to be led. I wanted to be led and never had that. Another knife tearing at the shreds of a bad union. Keep steadfast. Be so upfront about it. You're doing the good thing.
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