opiates

Today I spoke to a friend I hadn't spoken to in 2 years. He was used to the right wing me, instead of me now. He recently became a Quaker. Which is surprising, considering last time I knew anything he worshiped a stump in his back yard. Maybe G-d can bring him home yet.
I think I'm moving to Germany for a while. I'd be getting an apartment, and learning how to lead the youth. I love getting to know G-d, I wish I was better at it.

I am tired of fake Christianity, its painfully obvious that a friend of mine is just a Christian at church and when he wants to be. Is it wrong to call him on the bullshit? I want realness. I don't so much care what your beliefs are as long you hold to them.

I no longer want to be patronized with bad advice, or advice specific to the person giving it to me.
I stopped going to people for advice, it makes them feel better, but they're really bad at it. And it only makes me annoyed, and I feel, well, patronized. I've realized more and more that I need a new friend group, one that meets me where I am. I can continue relationships with my friends now, but not as their peer. I have to keep my ministry cirlce seperate from my peer circle. I still love them, but I'm keeping so many of my plans and thoughts seperate from them so to avoid advice that they would give, but are not not otherwise "qualified" to.

And to you, reading this, yes you. Where do we stand? Tell me if you found this. I want an Idea of who is reading this.



I want you to know this actually is me talking, Its taken a while for me to write this because I've had to sift out the falseities, the crap that isn't really me